Лысый, пей!


Очередное заседание клуба WS было посвящено выдающемуся научному открытию: не пить нельзя! Девушки, наливайте!

После первого бокала сухого мартини с грейпфрутовым соком вникаем в детали: кто, что и когда должен пить? Новозеландские ученые опытным путем пришли к выводу, что самые счастливые супруги – это те, кто вместе выпивают. Ну, не так, чтобы совсем по-русски, скорее, по-новозеландски так, умеренно, бутылочку вина раз в неделю. Но делать это надо непременно вместе, в этом весь секрет семейного счастья. Более того: именно женщины, выпивающие с мужьями хотя бы раз в неделю, оказались в четыре раза счастливее совершенно трезвых жен. Ох, за это надо выпить!

Девушки, у кого-нибудь есть муж-новозеландец? Жаль. Тогда работаем с местным материалом. А с ним не пить – так лучше за него и не выходить. Вот ваш вчера вернулся во сколько? Понятно. И про « в каком состоянии» понятно. И про носки. И про кофейные чашки. Да, да, вот это «дорогая, ты всегда преувеличиваешь» особенно бесит, даже больше, чем носки!
Не надо так надрывно кричать с места. Лучше тихо выпьем. По части общих проблем наш клуб в очередной раз проявил полное единодушие.

Так, у всех налито? Пришло время посмотреть на проблему шире. Помните старую шутку: за то, что государство с нами сделало, оно на нас обязано жениться. Не знаем, считает ли государство себя женатым на нас, но мы-то за ним точно замужем. У нас просто нет другого выхода. И жить в браке с этим государством «на сухую» невозможно.

Смотрим последние новости. Г-н Сурков заявил, что «быть русским – это амбициозная политическая программа». А быть тунгусом, вероятно, политический прикол. Евреем – политическая близорукость. Идиотом… Стоп! Во-первых, это не национальность, во-вторых, у нас же есть новозеландское открытие, так выпьем, милые! Легче? И нервничать не надо.

Минздрав решает, видимо, последнюю свою и нашу проблему: как улучшить общение пациентов в стационарах со священнослужителями? Не кричите вы так! Во-первых, качество лечение действительно разумно компенсировать качеством отпевания. Во-вторых, мы всегда можем выпить: до, после и вместо как лечения, так и отпевания. Раз в неделю – это про Новую Зеландию, у нас приходится частить.

Тут вот Госдума озаботилась правами человека, социальным неравенством, состоянием тюрем, цензурой и прочими безобразиями. В США. А вы думали – где? Смотрите трезвее на вещи: если Дума наша, то безобразия с правами человека, естественно, американские.

Кстати, про Америку: вы слыхали, там поймали кита, который говорит человеческим голосом. Нет, кит не пил. Тот, кто слышал человеческий голос… Нет, не член нашего клуба. Но говорящий кит в американских водах наверняка может помочь нашей Думе разобраться с нарушениями прав человека в США. Иначе - зачем он вообще заговорил? Ответ «ему не налили» не принимается. Девушка, милая, ну что вы заладили «лысый, пей!» Кит вас не слышит, лысый – тот вообще из анекдота.

Какие у нас, все-таки, счастливые браки!

Старейшины клуба WS

Предыдущие заседания клуба WS читайте здесь.

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Новый год: инструкция по безопасности Новый год: инструкция по безопасности
В преддверии новогодних праздников эксперты международного многопрофильного центра «Стандарт Групп» дают несколько советов, как обезопасить себя от неприятностей в праздничные дни.

Куда отправиться за впечатлениями на всю жизнь Куда отправиться за впечатлениями на всю жизнь
Кто сказал, что время путешествий - исключительно лето? Истинные путешественники не зависят от сезона. Для тех, кто любит открывать новое, специалисты подобрали девять захватывающих маршрутов на любой вкус.

 На чемоданах: несколько советов по провозке багажа в самолетах На чемоданах: несколько советов по провозке багажа в самолетах
Сколько вещей взять с собой в поездку? Как уместить больше сувениров на обратном пути? За что придется доплачивать, а за что – нет? И как обезопасить багаж от порчи или потери? В помощь путешественникам международный специалисты составили подборку лайфхаков по провозке багажа при авиаперелетах.

 Курортный роман: быть или не быть Курортный роман: быть или не быть
Наступило время отпусков, путешествий и увлекательных поездок. Социологи международной компании momondo решили выяснить, как жители разных стран относятся к романтическим приключениям на курорте?


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Guest, 24.10.2012 13:17:43
Зря вы так про наших мужиков!
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Guest, 24.10.2012 20:58:37
много пьете, девушки
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Guest, 24.12.2014 00:38:51
Вообще-то в России далеко не все мужчины пьют.Или вы не знали?
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Guest, 24.12.2014 00:44:17
Понятно все:америка решила в очередной раз попытаться разложить Россию.Вот для этого и пишут эту открытую пропаганду алкоголя,сами там пейте всей семьёй,сами в своём д@е@р@ь@ме животе,у наших своя голова на плечах присутствует.
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Карлсон, 10.05.2015 21:21:42
Hallo!
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xublbeydi, 03.09.2015 02:37:12
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