Жако, ты умница!


«… И только старый попугай вдруг громко крикнул из ветвей», - уже 32 года нет Владимира Семеновича Высоцкого, а строки сидят в подкорке. Вот и сейчас выскочили! А ведь заседание клуба WS посвящено серьезному вопросу: что нам делать с попугаями жако? Или с собой на фоне этих попугаев?

Сразу две группы независимых друг от друга исследователей – из Гёттингского университета имени Георга-Августа и из Венского университета – пришли к одному и тому же выводу: попугаи жако мыслят логично, понимают причинно-следственную связь. Эксперимент проводился таким образом: брали два одинаковых стакана, в один из них клали орех, затем встряхивали стаканы. Попугаи жако по звуку определяли, в каком стакане орех.

Выдохнули, выпили за попугаев, их ум, честь и совесть. Что же это получается, девушки? Пора нам перебираться в страну жако, если таковая имеется. Там логика есть, а у нас…

Чиновникам хотят запретить иметь недвижимость за границей и обучать там детей. То есть, как данность воспринимается факт, что чиновники воруют, берут взятки, на эти незаконно нажитые средства недвижимость покупают в нормальных странах и детей там выучить норовят. А мы им сейчас запретим недвижимость приобретать и детей эвакуировать, они и перестанут взятки брать. В каком стакане орех, ребята? Где логика? Может, стоит чиновников поменять? Зарплаты сделать такие, чтоб на них можно было жить, не торгуя подписью? Жако, что ты молчишь?

Музыкант прогрессивных взглядов доложил первому лицу государства о том, что процент отката за последние годы вырос с 30 до 95. Пока было 30, музыкант молчал. В каком стакане орех, ребята? Мы всерьез полагаем, что бывает откат допустимый, а бывает – чрезмерный? Жако, что ты молчишь?

Первое лицо государства ответило музыканту: попробуйте, мол, откатов не давать, посмотрим, что будет. И все жутко заинтересовались: что же будет? В каком стакане орех, ребята? Жако, что ты молчишь?

Второе лицо государства недовольно космосом: за полтора года – семь аварийных пусков и десять потерянных спутников. Это ж какие суммы вылетели в космос? – справедливо негодует второе лицо государства. Логический вывод: в ближайшие три года потратим на космос еще 650 миллиардов рублей. В каком стакане орех, ребята? Жако, что ты молчишь?

Тост – за молчание жако – прошел в полной тишине. Пожалуй, надо срочно найти хоть что-то, уравновешивающее нас с жако. Ура! Нашли. Жако владеет методом исключения. И мы им владеем тоже. У нас руководителем партии стал Иван Охлобыстин. Методом исключения: все остальные ей уже руководили. А «серый кардинал» г-н Сурков стал ответственным за религии. Все тем же методом исключения: за все остальное он уже отвечал. Даже за драматургию. 

Вообще метод исключения - великая вещь! Можно исключить все: логику, здравый смысл, профессионализм. И получится примерно так: жил-был человек. Назовем его Музобоз. Его сделали заместителем министра. Почему? А почему министром назначили того, кого назначили?  Это вопросы для жако, он ищет логику, гадает, в каком стакане орех. А у нас - метод исключения. Став заместителем министра, Музобоз запретил к показу фильм, завоевавший награду крупного международного кино фестиваля. Там, на фестивале, специалисты, а тут, у нас, министр и его заместитель. Их дело - исключать. А специалисты... Вообще это слово бесит, правда? Вас не бесит? Может вас стоит того... методом исключения?

Веселее? Не очень. Жако, выручай! И ведь выручил! Жако умеет танцевать, чувствует ритм. Так и мы чувствуем. У нас поэтому дети отлично получаются. Пока не переходит в танец. Жако, ты умница!

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Топ-7 мест, чтобы сделать предложение
Набережная в свете фонарей, изысканный ресторан – эти места стали банальными дляпредложения руки и сердца. А хочется, чтобы такой волшебный момент запомнился навсегда. Романтическое путешествие вам в помощь!

Новый год: инструкция по безопасности Новый год: инструкция по безопасности
В преддверии новогодних праздников эксперты международного многопрофильного центра «Стандарт Групп» дают несколько советов, как обезопасить себя от неприятностей в праздничные дни.

Куда отправиться за впечатлениями на всю жизнь Куда отправиться за впечатлениями на всю жизнь
Кто сказал, что время путешествий - исключительно лето? Истинные путешественники не зависят от сезона. Для тех, кто любит открывать новое, специалисты подобрали девять захватывающих маршрутов на любой вкус.

 На чемоданах: несколько советов по провозке багажа в самолетах На чемоданах: несколько советов по провозке багажа в самолетах
Сколько вещей взять с собой в поездку? Как уместить больше сувениров на обратном пути? За что придется доплачивать, а за что – нет? И как обезопасить багаж от порчи или потери? В помощь путешественникам международный специалисты составили подборку лайфхаков по провозке багажа при авиаперелетах.


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Guest, 20.08.2012 15:42:59
Напомните, пожалуйста, целиком анекдот про "переходит в танец".
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ctqjhxrmq, 02.09.2015 21:30:23
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whvvowxpk, 02.09.2015 21:36:53
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